Dangerous Tonight

Never, never, NEVER let me near a kitchen. I'm dangerous. I'm deadly. I'm TOXIC. And I can't cook.

A fair few of my characters are bad cooks. It's something that ammuses me. Akai can't cook because she was originally a composition of all my bad an rather pathetic traits, so she certainly could have any culinarry tallent. Angel is so bad at cooking she can burn water. but when she was made I was being trained to cook so It was another example of how not like me she was going to be. But me- I am the real life example. I think the problem is my tendancy to improvise. Me and Ledi decided to bake a cake once, but we had no recipie. So we just threw together some ingredients. What we made was chocolate bread, since there was no where near enough sugar. We made green cookies, based on a recipie but slightly eddited because we lacked a few ingredients, which turned out far too sweet. And yesterday, I tried to make risotto. I know, packet risotto- How hard can THAT be to cook? You follow the directions, risotto comes out the other end. Yet somehow, without improvising the recipie at all (I'd made scrambled egg earlier, which while slightly burnt wasn't too bad, but didn't add that till later) I managed to burn the risotto. I then spent half an hour scrubbing the burnt rice off the side of the pot.

Yop ten reasons I'll never be betty crocker anyone? My mother has a keyring- Looking for a man who hates football and can cook. I'm looking for much the same- I plan to pay him to come in once a week and feed me. Yeesh...

On a diferent note, this isn't the first time I've managed to make the house smell like a cheap takeouts. I managed to burn a pop-tart in the microwave by mis-reading the instructions. I used to be allright at cooking, but of course that was when I had a recipie, all the ingredients, and another person in the kitchen with me. It's when I start improvising that things go funny. But nothing ever gets burnt...

"...Living with me must have damn near killed you"
~How you remind me, Nickelback
- posted by Washi @ 9:23 am