Oh no! TMI! TMI!!

It's strange the nick-names things pick up. A classic example is the poseable manikin we used to have in our art class, which we dubbed mary (As we had dubbed Ledi's manikin 'Bob' already). So I would like, if I may, to tell you of an unusual series of nick-named objects.

First, the Happy Clevage Buddha. He is named that for three reasons. Firstly, he is a Buddha made of tigers-eye. Seccondly, he is exessively happy. Finally, the cord he is on is long enough so that it falls to be very close to the bottom of my breast bone. You may take a moment to work out where that is if you don't already know. It may be why he's so happy. In any case, he's a well none face in my circle of freinds, where he's worn like they wear pentagrams and daggers and so on and such forth. My permanent neck adornment is a gold 'long life' kanji symbol, which if nothing else makes me stand out a little more.

Now, onto the next item of this installment. Because of the Happy Clevage Buddha, I have a top called the Shrine. It's a black croped singlet in a style that people who like to think they know all about style would probably call 'key-hole'. It's the style in which they put a hole of some description in the top to show of the clevage (Or lack thereof) beneath. You can't turn aroudn too fast in them, let's say. The thing about it is when I'm wearing my buddha, which is normally either hidden undernieth low-cut tops or over the top of high-cut tops, the cord disappears inside the top and dangles the Buddha in the hole. Hence the top is known as the Shrine. Can you see the mental picture yet?

Other inanimate objects can quickly get nicknames of a similar nature. Ledi has a bright yellow candle I gave her which has been dubbed the Happy Candle. And not just because of the coulour. It's very strongly scented with stuff like Lemongrass and other odors chosen for their ability to clear the nostrels and give you a nasal kick in the face. A smell pick-me-up, so to speak. I have a perfume that has a similar effect on me - Vanila Musk. I can't help it, I love the smell. It's peaceful.

Yes, I LIKE vanila. I don't care about boring, vanila tastes good. Nyah.

Which remindes me, once the wether warms back up again I'll have to put on the Shrine.

On anther note, New Years isn't until TOMORROW! What's the idea of letting of crackers at 3am this morning? Or now, for that matter...

Oh yeag, Happy New-Years. This is one of my FAVORITE events. I like New Years, perhaps even more then christmas. Definitely more then Easter.

"I'm Louie the fly I'm Louie the fly- Straight from garbage tip to you!"
~Morteen Advert.
- posted by Washi @ 5:20 pm 0 comments

 
It's Funny 'Caus It's True

I Am A: True Neutral GnomeRanger Druid


Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.


Race:
Gnomes are also short, like dwarves, but much skinnier. They have no beards, and are very inclined towards technology, although they have been known to dabble in magic, too. They tend to be fun-loving and fond of jokes and humor. Some gnomes live underground, and some live in cities and villages. They are very tolerant of other races, and are generally well-liked, though occasionally considered frivolous.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Druids are a special variety of Cleric who serves the Earth, and can call upon the power in the earth to accomplish their goals. They tend to be somewhat fanatical about defending natural settings.


Deity:
Silvanus is the True Neutral god of nature. He is also known as the Patron of Druids. His followers believe in the perfect balance of nature, and believe that nature's bounty is preferable to any other 'civilizing' method. They wear leather or metallic scale mail, constructed of leaf-shaped scales. Silvanus's symbol is an oak leaf.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)



Neato huh?

I don't like the song 'Paradise by the dashboard light' mugh. The story's good, but I find that woman irritating in this song. Huess it's one of those old-fassioned things.

Don't you hate it when you have something in mind you were planing to write about, but it slips out like the bar of soap in the bath tub?

Me too.

"I can see paradise by the dashboard light..."
~Meatloaf, song of the same name. Don't say a frikkin' word.
- posted by Washi @ 12:16 pm 0 comments

 
When the bloom of the Jackaranda tree is here...

Bon Boxing day puppies- Hope you plan to chill on ths particular public holiday. And now, the re-telling.

After going to the Uni for another talk, we headed off to the central market for some food shopping, which is always good. And I scored myself a slave bracelet for christmas, although it's starting to rust a little because Nanna asked me to do the dishes and I got it wet before I took it off. This, a watch, a couple of singlets and the computer gear constitute my christmas present from my mum (Dad payed half the printer). The ammount of money spent on me was frightning. In any case, the next day we headed to Zoe's at around three, and stayed until about six. Mostly it's a chance for us three girls and our single parents to sit around and have a natter (I'm the only one who really has two, but Dad wasn't invited in any case.) And we talk about EVERYTHING. It's nice. We also handed out our presents to the little inner circle- Small things that we know will actually be apreciated. For me, some Ylang Ylang incence cones and a callendar (With picture of Darren). My present to them came in the form of some pictures- A gryphon and a wiccan. I know, I'm cheap. So shoot me.
We opened our presents on christmas eve because mum was working christmas morning, and she got some pretty speccy stuff ^.^ My slipper contribution wasn't so great addmittedly, since mostly I helped Travis pick something and I agreed to pay for her anatomy books. Although they're nice slippers... Anyway, mum also gets presents from some of her clients (Although I'm not sure it's legal, she get's them stuff). So there is even MORE chocolate lying around the house which I have no doubt I will be expected to eat. I know, poor me complaining about eating chocolate. I'm so sick of freekin' cadbury... Ah well, she can eat it herself and, if she's really paranoid about it, work it off at the gym. Or my bro can eat it- Seriously, there's gotta be room for chocolate in there.

Christmas day was spent up at my grandparents/aunts house in Two Wells. They got a shetland pony as well, and apparently the horse I mentioned is now rideable. I didn't go for a ride- I was wearing a skirt for a start. My little cousins are learning on the shetland, which is good. My cousin grew up around horses, although she lost interest in them for a while to persue boys. Two kids later, I think she's made the right choice at last- Horses. They're pretty cheap right now too, since the drout is making feeding them dificult. Stock owners are keeping only their breeding stock and dumping all unnecesarry grass-eaters. That usually means some otherwise good quality horses. In any case, the lunch was buffet style. Bring what you can and find a spot on the table. It's fitting all the people into my grandparents small kitchen and living area that's the fun part. So we ate, I had a bit of a chat with my soon to be brother in laws, and flicked though some People mags (There were some familiar faces in there). And let's not discuss that at all.
We then all convoyed down to my father and his fience's new house. It was perhaps a three minute drive away, and the house was damn GORGEOUS. My god. The block was huge, already covered in natives which my dad plans to plant in abundance, and the area is surrounded by horses. There's a pony club near-by (Cheap manure) and it's such a nice area, close to my grandparents and my aunt. When everyone except us had left I joked about it being just the Locals that were still here. My aunt was delighted.
Meanwhile, I managed to get sunburnt from being out watching the horses, proving that 20 minutes is enough to turn crispy. Nanna gave me her kilt, which is a dress kilt with my family's formal tartan on it, because I was wearing my mothers kilt with the normal tartan on it. Aunt Heather gave me a bag of bindies she hadn't managed to sell, since I was wearing one of my own concoction (I like bindi's and kilts. Let no one tell you they don't mix ^_^) I suppose sometimes Zoe was right when she suggested I have a unique style. I don't, I just like to mix and match. And I have so few nice skirts- I don't think they sell a whole lot these days. They've got this bizarre frilly stiff now with the pesant look- Some are alright, but I fins a lit to be pretty bad and made out of bad material in any case. And I don't like denim skirts much.
Anyway, we returned home at long last and I tried to get to sleep with sunburnt shoulders (Uncomfortable).

So, before I leave you with this mediochre look into my life, allow me to say that there is something more annoying then having ants in between your toes. Having ants in your underware. Honnestly, how the fuck to they GET there without you noticing? ::Screams::

Go hug a tree.

"I am the Pumpkin King!"
~Jack, A Nightmare Before Christmas

- posted by Washi @ 11:53 am 0 comments

 
Fly on my wings

A brief interlude, as today is the eve of christmas eve. So I'm booked solid for the next two days. Christmas will be held at my grandparents place this year - They've filled in the hole around the cistern and gotten a horse, so it sounds like a very favorable idea. They have a pergola put up apparently. In any case, it should be good. Once again however I will not see my uncle on my mothers side for christmas, as he will be somewhere else. The new years eve tradition of gathering at Zoe's place is still on, and we're expected to spend the bulk of the afternoon there.

Sometimes I find myself incredibly surprised by the way things turn out. I can't find an explanation - It's not MY skill that's doing it, so the only explanation I can find is the media. I love canson paper. I'll have to get a photo of the picture I'm working on, so I can show yaal.

Theres another Uni meeting today - Bloody. Hell. Fire. But I can ask about changing the Course that's my first preference, since I got a fairly hight TER and I kind of know what I want to do.

Did I mention I got my SACE over the weekend? Did I mention that if I hear Dream Weaver one more time I'm going to use it to strangle someone? I don't mean the scores, you all know them - I refer to the actual piece of paper that says I've completed the requirements. It's the most gawd-awfully ugly thing I've seen in ages. Seriously, it's paper-bag brown with faun, and if teels like a donut bag, post donut. Yick. Ah well, it's probably very dificult to replicate. When mum got hers it was pink, so I suppose that's a plus.
Fay made an interesting comment. She said to my mother that they probably dressed myself and Zoe in too much pink when we were young, because neither of us like wearing it now. Remember that should you ever spawn- Don't dress the girls all in pink just because they're girls. Dress them all in pink because they like it. Or blue or yellow, if that's what they like. When they're too young to tell you what they like, vary the colours ^_^

Anyway, end Washi's maternal discussion. Hell, end Wasi's post. See you after Noel.

"Don't believe the nonsense unless you hear it from me directly."
~Dr. Dennis Johnson of Backberner fame.
- posted by Washi @ 11:03 am 0 comments

 
Holding back time

I haven't had some time to get stuff done for a while now. I'm working on a couple of large pictures - sort of an out of africa theme I noticed, but ah well. And once they're done I want to get to my inks out and do some inkwork... Ah, so much stuff to do, so little time given to do it. Plus there's all the work I've agreed to do for other people - curse my nature, curse curse and rave. Ah well, I'll survive I'm sure. It's dog nature - She does what she's asked and dowsn't stop to think about wether she'll have time to do what she wants until later. Because she enjoys being useful. That's why, whenever I draw myself, it's as some form of canine. It seems more accurate then this ugly furless meat-monster I walk around in ^_^;

Such frivolity asside, Allow me to explain where my time went. Thursday I went to see 'Spirited Away', which was amazing and I loved it completely. So yes, I recomend it. There was then some window shopping done, where I drooled over the VP Miyu DVD's for a while ::sigh:: But I slept the night at Ledi's place and wrote up a plot breakdown of a comic she wants to do with me based around Jennes-Ys and Syntax - Sort of a Sonic The Hedgehog fan-comic, but only in that it's set in the same world and runs on similar rules. Mostly it'll be a long pun on all the stories involving Chaos Emeralds posessing limitless power, etcetera etcetera. I'm not particularly trying to be original. Of course, I don't like writing happy endings, but I also have a strong desire not to kill off Jen. I don't mind reading happy endings, but I feel cheap writing them. So - How do I save the world, replace the chaos emeralds and still keep Jen alive without making her young and mortal again? There was the suggestion of putting her in the body of a robot, which would work. Personally, I wanted her to slip back into a comatose state and be put back in the battery chamber - Nothing changes, everyone's a little more careful, etcetera. But Ledi didn't like that ending, although it does nicely traumatise Syntax. Which is one eventual end I'd like to work towards. In any case, by the friday I was too tired to write an ending so that will have to be worked on later.

After this, I had a chiropractors appointment and time to go shopping at Westlakes with my mother. I saw a really pretty purple fish - I want to draw something based on it. From here we moved on to Zoe's house, which was full of people and in pitch blackness (No air-conditioning makes the heat hell.) I was too young for most of the conversaton though - I, fortunanly, am not on arthuritus medication or anything similar. And since Zoe was teaching at that time, I got to chill and learn about the trials of the over 40's. I missed seeing my dad though. Very sad. Anyway, Zoe and her boyfriend stoped over around 9 to go swimming, which was probably the best time for it as no-one was going to get burnt. I was too cold though, so I refrained from swimming. I get cold too easily.

As you can see, the last two days were pretty much full to the brim with activity. So now I want to spend as much time as possible drawing and colouring. So I will go update my site and then do just that.

Seasons Blessings.

"As she drowned said Pete, my brother: 'One good turn deserves another.' "
~Sister Magdeline's book of Nun's
- posted by Washi @ 10:57 am 0 comments

 
Society is to Blame

Yesterday I went and blew m $50 art supplies voucher. I got me some stuff ^_^ It's cool. I'm happy. I got some good, thick watercolour paper. Yay!

After which I went shopping with my mum. It was wierd - We were dressed the same. I decided to wear a dress, which doesn't happen very often. It was floral -_-. which reminded her of her floral dress, so she bought it out and put it on, and we walked around town looking like one of those scarry mother-daughter teams. We also got a printer (I like my printer now ^_^!) so I can print out some good quality prints. Happy little me.

I just got my scores for my exams. I got an 18 for math, strangely. I didn't do so good in the other subjects - I got 15 and a half for english and I think a 17 (Or there abouts) for Physics and Art. So NO TWENTIES! Take that yaal, Ha! Actually, I'm a little irritated. If I'd gotten half a point more for english, so I had a 16 instead of 15.5, I would have had a TER score of 90. Doesn't 90 sound much better then 89.5? I mean seriously...

Well, I suppose that can't be helped now. In either case, I'm going to see Spirited Away tonight. Looking forwards to that ^_^! Having ant's crawl around in between yuor toes is REALLY annoying!

Last night the girls all got together for the first time in a while, and surprisingly the talk turned to a guy they seem to delight in irritating. Concidering we haven't spoken to him in two years, one would hope that they would perhaps let the sleeping dog rest and go on with life. But I guess they just had too much fun.

A long time ago, Ledi used to roleplay with a guy in a Pokemon RPG. They were team-mates, and she was rather impressed by how well he wrote. Hell, I was rather impressed by how well he wrote as well, but I didn't encounter him until much later. He has villan-speak.

They fell out, and the girls became vengeful. It makes me feel sick, to think of it. They just don't SEE how stupid and hypocritical they are, and they just keep going and never stop to think or realise... It makes me want to scream. But I won't - It's not my place. That's human nature I suppose. You are always in the right, you're group is right, and they are wrong. I wish it was that simple for all of us. I have trouble properly expressing exactly how I feel about the whole situation, alas I am not as good with words. But I may as well make an attempt.
The word disgusted springs to mind. Why is everyone I know so vengeful? Why do they feel that every slight must be repaied in full, and then some? Don't they understand the cycle that starts? Can they not see further then their own egos? I think the answer to most of that is 'just beacuse'. It's the way they are - It's in their nature to behave this way. They strive to be alphas, to be the lead female and have supremicy. That is their social drive. Do they feel perhaps they will loose status if they back down? They may not be aware of it, it is simply in their psychie. Likely they just enjoy it. They see it as some sort of challenge or purpose. And they like that feeling. Maybe because I have other distractions or a less vengeful nature or... something, whatever, I simply don't fully grasp the atraction. I always rather liked talking to him - He spent most of the conversation writing creative insults and I spent most of the time being zombie-girl pacifist. But at least it was more complicated then 'hi how r u a/s/l/ what size bra do u wear', which pisses me off no end. But I am obliged to dislike him due to my affiliations - and, as I say of many people I encounter 'I'm sure you're very nice, but youre a bitch/bastard and I wouldn't want to meet you face to face.' I have no doubt he's a jerk - and in dealing with jerks, avoiding them is the best stratergy.

It's still warm. I'm not being terribly inteligent right now, aren't I? Mayhaps it is best to leave off now. Enough rantnig about why I don't think you throw rocks at wasps nests.

"And the future is certain. Give us time to work it out."
~Road to nowhere.
- posted by Washi @ 9:44 am 0 comments

 
All singing, all dancing

I feel ill. It's 37 degrees and the rumpus room is little more then a tin shed with plaster on the roof. It's hot. My cooling system is a fan and a pool, which I go out to every so often to wet myself down, thereby turning myself into a human evaporative air-conditioner. Hey, it works. In a moment I will head inside and attempt to dye my hair purple-black and plan out a new picture. I want to work on some larger pieces.

Dad just poped over with some junk I left in a drawer. The house will no longer belong to us as of five days from now, so we're pretty much packed up and out. Dad has a new house though, somewhere between Two-Wells and Gawler, and he should be moving in sometime in late Januarry. He remarries in March, and they're having their honeymoon in Perth. Jennefer must love him, because she suggested they go up in time to see Port Adelaide, my father's footy team, play there in the first round of the AFL competition. If that ain't love, I don't know what is ^_^. In any case, I now have to fit a whole heap of clothes and some other stuff in my room. I should probably get to it huh?

Bai bai puppies.

"If you remind me of my dog
We'll probably get along, little doggie"
~Jane Siberry, Everything reminds me of my dog
- posted by Washi @ 12:38 pm 0 comments

 
Spare Bell

Ever had something happen that, while being good, shocked the heck out of you? That happened to me when I went to my Inbox this morning... My first commition auction got a bid. A big bid. I nearly fell over.

Anyway, the week has been exessively quiet. I finished my chrissie presents for my friends- I'm especially fond of Ledi's, and even more especially I'm fond of that face. It's the cutest gosh darned avian face I've ever seen ^_^! I want to draw some more avian faces now because that one is soo cute. It's an owl head, see, and owls have cute faces. That asside, I'en less done this week then I would hope. it seems that, despite the fact I technically have a lot of free time, I also have a lot of things to do that I have to fill it with. It may quieten down after christmas... It may not. In any case, for the next few days I want to dedicate myself to TBE, and then I have 2 requests and a comic to finish while I help Ledi plan for the Syntax comic. That's what I plan to call it anyway. Ledi designed his logo ages ago, and personally I think Syntax the Androhog sounds better then Jenes-ys the glowing green thingie. Of course, that's just me :Þ

My dog is staring at the fence. She's been doing it for 10 minutes. It's a little like a four year old staring at a wall for five minutes. She isn't even doing her 'I've found a mouse' pose, it's just 'I'm sitting here staring at the ivy'. Ah well, she probably knows wat she's doing.

Are their ants invading nyone else's house? Summer seems to bring them inside for some reason - I don't know why. We're past the exessive bug season...

I want to make a Lambda toy. I've wanted to for a while now. Maybe one day I'll think about it. Something to do when it's too late for me to draw anything that makes sence.

Now, let's put this randomness asside and try to string some coherent thoughts together, shall we?

In recent times I've given some serious thought to who I would dress up as for the next AVCon, since it'll probably take me untill then to get a costume done. I agreed to help Ledi with hers to, and began to make some suggestions. If I was going as someone based purely on who I'm obsessed with, I'd have to go as Cupido. But, appart from the fact that no-one would know who I was, I'd be wearing a black cat-suit with a red bikini bottom. Sot that I wouldn't, but I'd like the chance of being recognised. Still, I always keep her as an option. The only other game character I'm seriously thinking about is Xianghua from Soul Calibur, since I like her and I think that, if my bust were more idealised, we'd be about the same size. From anime, I'm thinking of either Fuu or Lina inverse (Lina cuz she's cool, Fuu because I've always had a soft spot for the smart one) since both have very distinctive costumes. And I think I could pull them off. But the main thing will be to see who Ledi chooses, since I made a couple of suggestions to her myself (Filia, Beldandy and a couple of others). If she picks Filia or even Lina, I'll go Fuu. If Beldandy, I'll probably try for a Lina. Much fun hey? Bit of meaningless pondering. I love dressing up. Zozo has a picture of me dressed up as Susan Death, complete with scar and little black dress. I looked really, REALLy pale. That was for haloween, possibly from back in 200. I think in 2001 I went in the little black dress, and really skanked it up. No haloween in 2002 because of exams ^_^; That's what haloween means to me- An excuse to get dressed up. I look for any excuse ^_^;

Well, at least SOMETHING coherent emerged.

"gottagonowbai"
- posted by Washi @ 11:05 am 0 comments

 
That's why the call me Mr. Farenheight

Bear with me, it's past my bed time, and I just needed three attempts to spell bare. I still don't know which is right.

Let's discuss the weekend. Starting with Friday. I was dropped off at my fathers place early, as is my want, and caught a train to the city. That's one thing I will miss- the excelent access to the train lines. So I cruised into the train station with half an hour to get there, since I knew I'd probably get lost. Miraculously, I found Rundle Mall. I was even ar the right end. Someone up there liked me that day.
After a pit-stop it was time to do the meeting thing. Many of you will know this - It's where you meet people you've met on the internet in person, and as the script says 'hilarity ensues'. I remember going with Livy when she when to meet a fellow red-head in the city (By the horse statue) and spent most of the time not talking. Nothing to say, it would seem. I don't think they spoke after that.

Needless to say, this did not fill me with confidence.

History asside, If I hadn't had Felix come up and ask me if I was waiting for Mowen, I'd have probably just ducked off somewhere. Blind as a bat and about as smart, that's me ^_^. Thankfully I was found, and then the search began. The search- For a place to change. A harrowing search if ever I embarked on one. I'll avoid details of where we actually ended up - Suffice to say a place was found and changing was done. Matt was shy :Þ He ducked into a bathroom to try a shirt on. Ammused me, but whatever. I'm probably too used to t-shirt exchanges. Yes, the purpose of this visit was for Matt to try on his costume, things to be fixed, yadda yadda... I was just along for the proverbial ride. From here we moved to the food court, where I tried to duck off and see if Jason had gotten a permanent job. I couldn't spot him, so I guess if it's anywhere it's at the key-place. I don't think that Hiring him for a key-cutter was the smartest move ever made, allow me to assure you. At this point we split, and poor Matt let me drag him around Rundle in search of Koalas and ammusement. I wonder if Dani reads? I found her a Koala ^_^ I also had less money then I thought I had. I'm an idiot, so sue me. I don't clame to have none of them practical smarts all these people are so proud of -_-.

I know what anyone who knows me is thinking - What did you take that day to get THAT kind of courage? I'm normally terrified of guys I've known for a few years, let alone strangers. Although, I've noticed, not of the people I probably should be... That asside, fear is my natural state of being around most people. He's at least a head and neck taller then me, if not far more, and while Jason is much the same Jason is built like a whip (And I still recognise a threat). Mowen, however, is not rake-like. Usually I would be terrified. Surprisingly I wasn't, although I think I might have been a little intimidated having Felix and his pal there. I sure ate a lot of licorice... If anything I felt safer draginf Matt then I would have been wandering around town on my lonesome. And I had an ice-cream bought for me, which I can't really complain about... although I really, REALLY shouldn't have excepted. I felt sick for a few hours afterwards... Damnit woman, learn to say no! Whe a guy says he's going to buy you a little tigger, stop him! Buy you an ice-cream, drag him to the god damn door! Buy you another drink, distract him! Actually, that worked rather well... See the next ay for more details.

Allow me to conclude this before too much depth is reached :Þ I owe him for helping me buy a buss ticket - I forgot my bloody student card. Really good first impression to make hey? It occurs to me that, when he asked me if he was what I expected, I neglected to ask him if I was what HE expected. Probably didn't really want to know the answer to that question.

I returned to my fathers and inked in TBE pages until the men returned, with a brief pause to talk to mum, who proceded to grill me about my day. I imagine she's woried about me - I don't go out and meet anyone, and I rarely do things. She probably thinks it's not healthy. She also asked if I was scaming for a boyfriend (Or if they were after me) O_o Alright, it wasn't put quite like that, but that was more or less the gist. She probably thinks not looking for one isn't healy in a teenage girl either. What can I say, Akai may have gotten over that little fear issue, but I still haven't. I'll discuss that later.

Soo, soulful inside. Run away!

The second day: Saturday.

It's eleven in the morning. I've just woken up for the second time today. I head out with my father to collect my art piece and dump it at mums. We get home and discover that, while we were gone, Jennifer and the twins showed up. Allan and John will in a fairly short amount of time be my step brothers, and they're supposedly identical twins. They look a little similar, but there are some pretty obvious diferences between. There always were- I remember Allan being quieter then John from way-back. And now that I can tell them apart... I might go into them in more depth later. Travis and John more or less locked themselves in a room with the x-box and remained quite content for the rest of the day. Allan entertained us with stories of how to break a man's neck with one hand. Actually, that's probably something I should like to know... Research purposes of course. We didn't actually LEAVE untill five thirty, which If I'd known I would have tried to pencil a few pages.
Where to? Why, Two Wells of course! My cousin had had his 18th birthday, and was celebrating by getting drunk and attempting to play the pokies. Suffice to say no money was won. My Aunt and Cousin (Older) were both working behind the bar that night, so it was nice to have them at least captive. And I've always been fond of pubs. Early conditioning. Plus I got to have a good chat with my Nan, who I believe to be one of the most sensible people I know. Her and my aunt aquired a horse. She's absoluelt\y beautiful. I like Horses - Right down to the way they smell when they're well kept, that sort of heavy musty smell. Horse and leather- Now THERE'S a heratage smell for you.
Two beers, two cruisers and what I'm assuming was Irish Cream after dinner and Georgia on my Mind still sounded bad performed by the live band. Other songs wern't so bad though. And amazingly I didn't pay for a thing the whole night - My dad bought the beers and a cruiser (My god that is such a freekin chick drink) and my cousin supplied the rest in his enthusiasm to legally purchase. I'm sure he would have gotten me as wasted as the woman who kept trying to dack the lead guitarist given the chance, but I managed to cunningly distract him, as such. I love my cousin ^_^ And although he's still short, he's grown up to at least equal his brother in looks if not height. So happy 18th too him.

Day three: Sunday. My mothers birthday.

I returned home on this day for a stint on the computer. She returned around noon. She mistook her christmass present for her birthday present, but thankfully I intercepted that. I gave her a Lambda Box. Yep, it had Lambda painted on it. She can't remember him, but he's gorgeous and I figured main-stream enough to entertain her. The rest of the day didn't go so well - She really wanted to see the ring, and she though that that was what she was doing, but her guy pulled out and they went home. Didn't get her anytihng either. I really dislike him. The sooner we're rid of him, the better. He has a friend now, so it won't be so bad. The less said of his day the better too.

Which brings me to today, which for your benefit I will refrain from relating to you. It's after midnight anyway - I need to be up at 8 to catch dad, and I still want to read some.

Oi... Sorry for all that. I hope it's readable...

"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
~Anon
- posted by Washi @ 11:33 pm 0 comments

 
Shout at the heart of the world (Post from Eva M)

Case: Akai Pallaton. Designated Pilot of Eva Unit 00.
Akai sat in a wooden fold-out chair. Her head was bowed, causing her fringe to cast dark shadows over her eyes, and her braid laid itself against her back. Around her was complete darkness that made her shiver in it’s perceived cold. She was afraid. She wasn’t certain of what, but she was deathly afraid. She wished she had
Sanctimony with her.
“I want my mommy...” She whispered to herself, an amused half-smile touching her face beneath the shadow. Smile in the face of fear, girl...
’Who are you?’ A voice asked. Akai didn’t have to look up- she recognised the voice. Across from her stood a younger version of herself, wearing the red dress she remembered from her nightmare. Her hair was in braided pigtails, and she spoke with a voice at once young but, at the same time, far older then Akai was.
“I am Akai Pallaton, Eva Pilot.”
’Is that all?’
“What more can I be?”
There was a moment of silence.
‘What do you want?’
“I don’t want anything.”
‘What do you want?’ The child Akai said again, without any variation in her tone.
“I told you, I don’t...”
‘What do you want?’ More insistent. Akai hesitated before answering.
“I don’t know. I... I don’t want to hurt anyone any more. I don’t want to be afraid any more. I don’t-”
’We know what you don’t want. We want to know what you DO want?’
“I want... I want to be happy, I guess...”
Silence.
’No you don’t’
Akai looked up, surprised marking her face. The calm brown eyes of her accuser looked back at her.
’You don’t want to be happy. If you did, you could easily make it so. But you want things to make you happy- outside things.’
“How else can you be happy? You need those things- the people around you, the
circumstances...”
’Are immaterial. Pointless. Happiness comes from within. You cannot be given happiness by someone else. Especially when you will not take it when it is offered to
you.’
Another moment of silence. Akai looked towards the ground.
“Erik...”
’Do you love him?’ The voice asked. Akai hugged herself.
“I want to- so much...” She trailed off.
’But?’
“But... I don’t want to die.”

Akai sat on her low bed, an open music box beside her playing the chimed strains of ‘Pie Jesu’. She was looking at a necklace with three shells on it, letting them slide around her hand. A slight smile touched her lips, quietening the chaos inside her.

He’ll leave you behind. Go out to fight, and he’ll be killed. And then you’ll be left all alone... Akai put her hands over her ears as though trying to block the sound.
“Go away...”
You can sleep with them, give them children, be everything they could want you to be. But then God will have his say. God will take it all away from you...
“SHUT UP!”
’Akai.’
“SCREW GOD! SCREW IT ALL!”
You can’t save them...
The image of the monolith showed again in her mind, names scrawled up and down it. Her aunt, Erik, Kazuha...
’She wanted to die. It was her choice to make. Now, it’s your turn.’ The voice was so close... Just behind her ear...
Akai stood up so fast that the chair knocked backwards and collapsed, turning to look at the self behind her. The young Akai pointed back to the front, and Akai turned around slowly to face it. She looked at the figures in front of her. The first was the sandy haired figure of Erik, dressed in his Plug suit. He reminded her of
some sort of colourful Ninja, or an old German night. Beside him was a woman, her hair greying slightly and pulled up into a messy ponytail. Her
eyes were somewhat hollowed, but she smiled a wane smile and seemed strangely peaceful, like she was doped up or something. Akai stepped backwards, heels hitting
the fallen chair.
“Mother... Erik...”
----------
There are always choices to be made - The choice between love and hate, between conception and reaction, between the left or the right...
Between life and death, between good and evil...
Between ignorance and understanding.
And, until the choice is made for better or worse, there will be no movement. And there will be no being.
Merely... Existing.
----------
Akai looked between the figures like a cornered animal.
'There is always a choie to be made. And this is yours.'
Akai looked between them. "I don't... I don't understand."
'When you do, the choice will have been made.' The young Akai said. 'And then, you'll know what to do.'
"Oh, to know what to do..." she said whistfully. She looked between them, rather expecting them to say something. They looked like they wanted to, but neither Erik nor her mother spoke.

What was her choice here? The choice between the dead and the living? Her mother and her family?
She blinked. Her mother... and her family...
"The pilots are my family." She said, startled. She was an only child, but it occured to her that being an Eva pilot was a lot like having siblings. You were stuck with each other, and you had to rely on them even if you didn't always get along. And a lot of these people she had liked... She had lived. She had lived far more in the past year then she thought she ever had. And it hand't been going out and partying, or having fun most of the time. But she had been alive.
And it had hurt like hell.
"But that's it, isn't it? Living is pain. It's anguish. It's loneliness. But it's also joy. It's the chance at happiness, and it sustains humanity.
"But it doesn't have to be that way." Akai jumped as her mother spoke. "People can be one and the same. no loneliness, no pain... Because pain and loneliness are caused by other people."
"But without pain and loneliness, there could be no joy or happiness either. No hope." Erik countered, matter of factly. Akai's mother's eyes seemed to snap into focus suddenly as they looked towards Erik.
"To get rid of everything bad... You have to get rid of everything, right?" Was it worth it? How could she justify not doing it?

There was a price to pay... There was always a price. To be better, you had to destroy something in yourself. To be happy, you had to understand that you could also be sad. To love, you had to understand loneliness. And to remove all these things that made you uncomfortable, angry or sad, you had to accept that you would never feel joy, love or hope again. That was the price. But she couldn't decide wether either was worth paying.

She looked at Erik, and then back at her mother.
"This isn't fair!" She exclaimed at last.
'It never is.'
"What am I suppsed to be doing? I don't even know the options, how can I pick one!" She shouted, turning to face her younger self. A pair of clear brown eyes looked up at her sadly. Akai found herself hesitating. She looked down at her hands. Clenched in the fist of one was a flat stone, the edges sharp enough to cut her hand. Blood trickled through her fingers and a single drop fel to the floor with a noise like rain on a drum. She opened her hand, Looking at the broken rock with names engraved on it. The headstone... from the nightmare... Akai stared blankly at the stone while her mind, now no-longer subject to her concious perceptions, started to seriously work things out.
"...The choice..." She turned back to the figures standing in front of her. Her younger self watched her curiously, wondering what she had decided the choice was.

"The choice is between Love... and Fear."
The young Akai's eyes lit up.
"It was always there... I always knew that that was what it was. I've been so afraid... For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of loving anyone. Mother," She looked at her. "We loved my father. And he died, and I lost you. I loved you, and then I was alone because you couldn't bare to be. You couldn't love me."
She turned towards Erik, reaching out and taking one of the boys hands in her free hand. "And I couldn't love you. I thought I wanted to and just couldn't. But I think... I think the truth is that I did. And I didn't want to. And I was so wrapped up in worrying that I'd loose you, I didn't realise..." She trailed off, begining to choke up. She steped forwards until their shoulders were touching, speaking to the emptiness behind him.
"The truth is... I'm afraid of you too. Not just you... All of them. People... I try to be outgoing, to make an effort, but I do it because I'm so afraid... And I never realised that everyone else was too. That's enough." She finished. And her choice was made.
Akai let her grip loosen enough to loose Erik's hand and turned to her mother, gripping the stone and looking towards the floor as she stepped up to her. "Momma..." She whispered, raising her eyes. Her mother put her hands on her shoulders and smiled wanely at her. "I love you, Mother. But we're done."
Akai's hand shot out like a viper, sending the shard of stone into her mothers chest. She stumbled backwards, her face blank as she watched the dream verson of her mother fall to her knees, while the Erik looked at the fallen woman with shock written on his features. She smiled at the ground - Pride? Akai looked her.
"I choose love. I choose life. I choose the chance to be miserable, lonely and hurt for the chance to be happy, to love and to live. I choose to accept it and live it instead of fighting it and fearing it. And it is my choice, my right and my life, for better or worse."
She looked back to where her younger self was, finding the space empty.

"I am mine. I want to be. And I will be."

The room lit up. Akai was standing alone, blinking in the sudden onslaught of light.
"Helo?" She called out, the sound echoing off of the walls. Nothing.
She shrugged and walked to the door.

"Have groove, will boogie."
- posted by Washi @ 1:14 pm 0 comments

 
Happy 'olly

I suppose today is as good a day as any to discuss a McGregor christmas. Our christmas tree isn't even up yet, and concidering that we don't actually take our tree down, we just put plastic bags over it and store it away, that shows a remarkable level of slackness. Maybe I'll put it up today.

I like the christmas tree, with it's gaudy decorations and tinsel smell. It makes me happy, and adds a touch of magic. It's the fairy-lights I think, Or the fact that my brain has been conditioned to equate the smell of tinsel with happiness and security. Like the dog's that salivate when a bell rings. Christmas trees tap into the part of your brain that keeps you separate from the rest of the world, and wears it down. I don't believe in christmas as anything more then a comercial festival, but it's a nice thing to celebrate. It's so deeply ingrained in my psyche I wouldn't feel right if I didn't, even if I no longer believe in what it is supposed to represent and think it is in the completely wrong season. I won't go into the rant about christmas being a taken from the old midwinters festival- I'm sure you've all heard it before.

But christmas in my family, traditionally, begins at my mothers. We open our presents in the morning, hug and kiss mum and go watch bad christmas repeats. Then, dad pops over and whisks us away to the Australian Christmas institution that is the family barbicue. Occasionally there is no barbicue in sight, and it's just a buffett. Time was it was always at my grand parent's place, and we had a large cut-out fireplace with a flat painted christmas tree. Strangely, it didn't seem tacky or even ridiculous back then. We'd go swimming if it was warm enough, until the pool was filled in and made into a garden. And then the women would move into the dining room for secret womens business while the men would talk cricket or footy. Almost always cricket and footy. Occasionally conversation would turn to something that, while not quite being cricket or footy, was related in some way. Like the road past Footy Park.

Then around six we'd go home and have diner at our fathers.

Obviously this won't be happening this year for several reasons. Firstly, my father will be homeless. Secondly, my grandparents place is much smaller now, and the back yard isn't what I'd call the safest place for the kiddies. There's a large hole where what is either the water tank or cistern is situated. But then again, I'm sure they'll be fine out there. It's not that big a padock, and there more likely to pick up prickles then fall in the hole. Finally, they ain't got a barbicue there.
Ah well. There's always my uncles.

Perhaps further mussings will come later. Perhaps not.

"Don't think too much. It's bad for your health"
~Demon's advice
- posted by Washi @ 12:53 pm 0 comments