Riding on the Ghost Train

It occurs to me that I am much younger then most of the people I know. Not by years, but in my mind. It seems to me that I haven't progressed far beyond my age when I was 12, despite six years having past. I still cry at the drop of a hat (I watched the green mile and spent the last twenty or so minutes crying for some reason. I mean dude, I KNEW the big guy was gonna get it from the begining.) I still get scared of the most ridiculous things, I listen to fourteen year olds talking and feel ill. They take it all as the way things are. And I think that, mentally, I'm very immature. But no-one noticed it because they mistook it for maturity. Because I saw no reason to run around wreaking revenge on ex boyfriends (Which I didn't have anyway) or go all wierd over the sorts of things young people seem to these days, It was decided that I was mature. Truth was I wasn't ready to go around being a little bitch. And it occurs to me it's possibly too late now. Ah well, such is life. I'm sure eventually I'll adapt.

Mum moved out of home when she was sixteen. I'm not sure when dad left exactly, although his family culture is quite a bit diferent to mums. I dont' think much about that - When I have to move out, I will do so. But when it happens I don't plan to move back.

As you can see, I haven't given this a whole lot of thought.

I recieved two letters yesterday. One was from one of the uni's I'd applied for, since one of my choices was technology based. They're having a talk, and I will have to go and confirm my presence in short order. I look forwards to meething the competition, especially given that I wish to get into some 3D animation and effects, all that blah. A nice job with no future, you could say. Or, possibly, no job.

I've always figured that, if al else fails, I'll work in a government department. There's a good chance I'll get shot there.

The second letter came from Rie, whi is currently doing her exams. I'd say her problem is much the same, except she doesn't really have anything specific she wants to do. Which is another reminder of the inherent sameness of many people. Teens in Japan are the same as Teens in Australia with slight cultural variations. Too bad no one else can see the similarities but me and my father.

I've noticed that many of my characters are total daddy's girls. Insofar as one can be when your father is dead in many cases. When writing Angel, her relationship with her father was important. When writing Akai, I conciously made her relationship with her mother more important as it was the more chaotic, but she thought of her father like some sort of god. He was perfect (which he wasn't, of course) and her mother was the devil incarnate (Which she wasn't, she was just a weak character). With Angel, her father was someone she hated but, in the end, someone she lived for. It was because of him she embraced the nick-name and decided that she couldn't be a little girl any more. It was also because of him her life was pretty screwed up, but I won't go into that here. The thing was it wasn't that her mother was weaker like in Akai's case, it was that she had no respect for her. I guess I tend to esplore that a ot in my characters. Maybe if I write again I'll do so more. I like exploring the themes of family.

"Where there's a will, there's a relative."
~Anon
- posted by Washi @ 11:01 am