Don't try to Explain.

I am a wet blanket. That must be it, I can think of no other explanation.

I dislike hearing people bitch about other people. Even if I agree with what they're saying, such as occured a few nights ago, I still feel a little queezy hearing it, and probably a little worse for agreeing. It's a tamer example of social climbing, most often evident in women, in which it is the natural method of status-arrival. By pointing out the faults of those around you, you raise your own status. I think it might be the same impulse that causes bullying.

Sometimes you just have to admit that you agree. Other times, you just have to say something. I've only ever just had to say something once, at which point I shouted out 'Jezuz Christ you're being bitchy today' to pretty much everyone else there that day. Other times I've seriously felt like saying that. If i don't know the persi it's easier, but If I've met them and have not directly been harmed by them, it's not so easy. Even if I HAVE directly been harmed by them, I still dont' like it a whole lot- My clearest memory of Amanda is being slaped by her before having some sort of wig-out session, and I don't like hearing bad about HER. Wether it's true or not is entirely beside the point.

I think her parents were responsable for me being taken to a councilor. I've probably mentioned that before, so I will leave that there.

The problem is, I have to know someone really well to hate them. Like myself, and occasionally some of my friends. And bitching is a symtom of hatred and fear. ?It just makes me ill, and it's hard for me to articulate that. Not that I'm not guilty of that myself- I think everyone is in some way. I don't like it much when I do it either.

Not so bitter hey? It might be the warmth. Or that I spent all my pent-up rage today by anticipating a favorite television show (Apparently it's theraputic. Unless the TV show isn't ACTUALLY on, in which case it ain't. Fer Chrissake, if you say you're gonna put farscape on, try putting farscape on instead of some wierdo movie.)

Stuff that. I think I'll go hug my dog.


"'You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks -- in a word, that they are a dream, and you are the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.
'It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream -- a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -- a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!'
He vanished, and left me appalled; for I know, and realized, that all he had said was true."
~"The Mysterious Stranger"

- posted by Washi @ 11:40 am