Already Paid
I'd like to thank my fellow Something Positive reader on the tag-board for telling me where all my posts had been going. Odd - I was rather surprised by that. I guess that explains why things kept going funny - I'll try to be more careful with my posts in future, untill I work out exactly how that happened (The dream one may have been because I forgot to change someting in BlogThis, but the seccond one could only have been a human error or some odd loop in the system caused by having multiple blogs. As this IS me we're talkin' about, the forst is the likely. Thankyuu!

Okay, a re-post (Because I'm nasty) -

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I Gotta Stop Eating Spuds Before Nap...

I had the most wacked-out dream. I was asleep in the library and I dreamed that it was 10:00 and I'd slept through all my evening lessons. Which isn't that wierd, but I dreamt I was woken up by Ri-chan, who for some unknown reason was dressed in really bad rappers clothes - loose basketball top, gold chains, red hat turned sideways, funny shiny pants - the whole shebang, right down to a mass of gold objects balancing out his hat. I didn't reconise him until he spoke and gave me a hug - suffice to say, I was shocked. It was dark outside, and I asked him what was with the get-up, but ledi cam eup behind him before he could answer. Turned out we were in a really small computer room - the lights were off, so it was only lit by the glow of the screens. I thought she'd be mad at me, but she didn't seem to be. I was informed that it was 10:00 and that I'd slept through my lectures, and they'd come around for... I'm not entirely certain, at that point I was trying very very hard to wake up. I was dreaming - and a part of me knew I was dreaming but was still afraid I'd overslept.

Odd ne? Go figure.

Hehehe, Kali in a school uniform - so funny ^_^!

Meanwhile, I meant to draw today, but fell asleap instead ^_^;; Shtupid me. As it is I'm working on next week's prac, due to the nature of first pracs everywhere (I.e, teaching you how to submit. Submit damned you!!)

Hee, by blog is green now ^_^ The archive pages are still purple - I might make them all shades of grey, sort of a way to indicate that they're not the main area. Mind you, I'm starting to type so much more into this thing you'd need to go to the archives just to keep up. Ah well. I like to write.

That's enough - lesson's almost over.


"You want to tell me now?"
"Tell you what?"
"What it is you're trying to find out. You know, it's a funny thing. You're trying to find out what your father hired me to find out and I'm trying to find out why you want to find out."
"You could go on forever, couldn't you?"
~The Big Sleep

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On the Turning Away

You ever read something that makes you think and realise how very lucky you are? And how very confined your group of friends is compared to the people you know? I just did. Makes me sad, but there's little I can say - especially here. Guess it's true what they say about these things - I'm a very, very lucky girl.

I had an odd thought today. As anyone who knows me will know, my dating experience is limited at best - okay, my experience with human relationships full stop is rather limited. But I've noticed that I've been feeling rather odd lately - really awful, come to think about it. And it occured to me - although I can't clearly remember, this may have happened the last time I was in a relationship of any kind... It feels somewhat similar, only I remember it being worse. Perhaps the wonderous expansion of the past. At least, if I'm remembering right it does. If I remember, it's a part of why I left him and ran. It goes away when I'm with Ri-chan, but when I'm not it starts to nibble at me like a pack of hungry prahnahs, or however they're spelt. A sort of sick feeling - Hard to describe, except that it's a little bit like guilt. But then again, since I learnt what guilt felt like (It's not the way it sounds, it was sort of one day I was lying in bed thinking and feeling horrible and I thought - 'hold on... I think... If what I've read is correct, that feeling would be guilt. Why have I got that?'), most things have been able to be compared to it. It's the only feeling I know definitely - I have a vague idea of sadness and a very good idea of fear (Which is realted to guilt, only tends to come in more violent attacks), a somehwat hazy idea of happiness (Which I think is mostly the absence of sadness - it doesn't seem to have any other characteristics. Which doesn't mean I'm not happy, thankyou very much), but most sort of go beyond me. And I wondered - well, two for two is starting to look like an issue here girlie. So what's up with you now?

And then I decided that other people had more important things to worry about, and figured I could work it out at a later date. I'm bound to find something to blame it on - Blame it on my parent's divorce. That's what every one else seems to be doing. I know I'm so very, very lucky right now, and I only wish I could ditch this sense of fear and actually enjoy how blessed I really am. I'm so lucky to be loved - and I'm lucky to be able to love anyone, I know that. It's a pity that it takes someone else's confusion to remond me not to be so wrapped up in my own.

I wish I could do something about that. But I'm not very good at helping people - rather a spectacular failure in that department -_-;;

Beta is TOO CUTE for this world!

	*samurai* a master of the mystical katana noble; honorable; deadly
[Final Fantasy Tactics Job Class]

"We sell a tasty life"
~Taken from a sign at Engrish.com
- posted by Washi @ 12:30 pm