Sushi... Sushi... Harikiri... Harikiri...
This weekend has been… difficult to describe.

I’m not an emotional person. I think we can all accept this, yes? It’s been an emotional weekend. Mostly from Saturday night onwards. I had another attack of palpitations. This meant I had to leave EB early, which in a way was a good thing as I could probably do with a break. I’m not good at Vampire. But I made Ri-Chan kinda upset because he hadn’t been able to hear the phone ring and I left a kinda pathetic message on his phone – turned out he went to a couple of birthday parties that night in the end, and was moving between them (One at some weird café, the other at a strip club). I felt kinda bad for interrupting his night.

Sunday night didn’t involve a health condition, but it did involve an issue. I felt really bad and upset over something I probably shouldn’t have – after all, it wasn’t really that important was it? But the bad thing was I was mean about trying to explain it (The opportunity just popped up, and after my last post about not talking how could I possibly not take it?) so I made Ri-Chan sad. I’m sorry. But I tried to make it better and make an effort later on, even though I was still tired and a little upset from making an effort before. Yeah, I know, I suck as a girlfriend.

Moving on – I stayed up late to watch the rest of Azumanga Daioh (spelling?) and morning cartoons, and then slept until 3, thereby missing the chance to go shopping as we had originally planned. So we planed to go the next day. We didn’t of course, but this is beside the point.

The point is that at the moment I find myself... afraid because of an event that occurred Monday night. Not to say that this is different from any other time, of course, simply to say that I am. And I’m not afraid of Ri-Chan specifically – that would be mean. I was just given a fright, and I’m still feeling it. Things get complicated when I start thinking, no?

In any case, I’ve got mum’s birthday present now. And with luck, despite multiple delays, I’ll soon be able to go out and do my blooming Christmas shopping.

The end.


“An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.”

“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”
~ The Waste Land, T. S. Elliot

- posted by Washi @ 11:47 am